Swimsuit Season

Swimsuit Season

It’s that time of year again,  swimsuit season!

I know! Aren’t you just so excited? I love standing under flickering fluorescent lights counting the dimples on my thighs.

Each year I go through this. I need a new swimsuit but buying one requires me to mentally prepare myself. I tell myself all the things I’m supposed to think like, “This doesn’t matter! Your body made 3 children- it’s amazing! Be a good role model by not freaking out!”. And those are all true- but the process still sucks.

For one, can anyone tell me WHY it is so hard to find a swimsuit top with an underwire? 90% of bras have underwires. 90% of swim tops do NOT have an underwire. A swim top is just a bra that gets wet. Wouldn’t a wet bra require even more support? Unless you are 20 or have a brand new set, mom boobs need support!

No sunscreen required

Also, why are more modest bathing suits so ugly? Just because I want to cover some areas does not mean I want them covered in dolphins. Just because I like a more substantial  bottom piece does not mean I need a skirt all the way down to my knees. I’m desperately seeking the middle ground between Victoria Secret model and Amish grandmother. 

So, back to the dressing room I go with approximately 20 suits and a stiff upper lip.

I tried on everything.  One pieces, two pieces (haha!), multi-colored and my old friend, black.  I sat down to see how they looked from that angle. I even took pictures with my phone so I could analyze them in detail (don’t do this). I gave up and bought some shoes. Shoes always fit. 

In the end I ordered from Athleta. Their swimsuits are marketed to people surfing, kayaking and playing volleyball on the beach. I do exactly none of those things but if they will stand up to volleyball, chances are good they will keep all the parts covered while I play lifeguard with my kids. And they have bra-sized tops. Hallelujah! 

Plus, I got a really cute cover-up. One size fits all for the win!

Next week I’ll be sharing my Sanford Profile update!

-Cher

 

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